Are You Having Enough Fun?

I just wanted to take a minute and share with you something that has made all the difference in my life... It's about making SURE that you have enough fun!

Sound kinda crazy right? Well, it might be, but it makes for good times and GREAT results.

Here's what I'm talking about... I discovered long ago that when I'm having my greatest successes in life (business or personal) it's always been when I was having the most fun. That may seem obvious because it's easy to have fun when things are going your way, right?

But here's the intersting part- I started gaining more success BECAUSE I was having more fun, not the other way around. In other words, the success followed the fun, not the other way around.

Ever notice how some people just get all the breaks or luck? Are they usually having fun, or not? Of course they are... so why not join them?

It's easy to get too serious and heavy about life when we have a tough day, week, or even year! So why not have a little more fun with it?

Think about this, would you rather hang out with your friends when they are fun, or super serious and stressed out? Or how about doing business with someone, would you choose the 'Fun' guy or the the guy that is all stressed out? What about dating... do you like to date super serious people, or fun, laid back people?

So try it out... have more fun and be more care free this week and see what happens. I'm not saying be irresponsible, but if you have worries, put them aside while you're with your family or friends. Focus on being happy, excited, and inspired!

Before you know it, even more fun will come your way and you'll be in the coveted 'Upward Spiral' that we all love!

The best part is that fun & happiness are a choice... simply choose them instead of fear, anxiety, or depression and ENJOY!

It's a State of Mind...

I thought I'd take on something that I've been thinking about a lot lately, and give you my thoughts...

It seems like a lot of people are really down in the dumps about life right now because most people's finances have tightend up in the last year or two. With gas skyrocketing to nearly double last year's price, the housing and lending markets moving like a sloth on a slow day, and the trickle down effect of everyone tightening their belts... It's easy to see how you can get down.

However, the truth is that just because the economy is in a down swing, doesn't mean that you need to be...

Happiness is purely a state of mind- and therefore a choice which YOU control!

I've battled my fair share of adversity in life, and have learned that facing your fears with a smile on is a lot easier than wearing a frown...

Now, that might find cheesy, but it's true.

Let's take an example...

How would you feel if your phone were to ring right now, and on the other end was the guy from Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. The happy fellow is calling to tell you that, although you didn't win $1,000,000- you did win a nice $25,000 check, and it should be arriving in about 2 weeks!

Wow! That would be great, wouldn't it? And how would you feel for the next 2 weeks?

Excited, elated, floating on 'Cloud 9'?

But why?

The check hasn't even arrived yet... But you're already happy aren't you?

So, it isn't the money that actually made you happy after all... It's that you CHOSE to be happy. There was no money in your bank account, but you told yourself that you should be happy, and you were...

Even if the check never showed up, you were still happy because you made the choice to enjoy being happy.

Plain and simple, happiness is a state of mind.

It is a choice that you make in each and every moment- and if you have to make the choice anyway- why not choose to have a little fun, laugh at your adversity, or be thankful for all of the incredible things that you DO have in your life.

If you can't think of things to be thankful for, begin with your health. You're still breathing, probably aren't in much pain, and can freely take a walk at the park... right? Then be glad, because your health is the greatest gift of all!

It's easy to take things for granted when we have them- like having air to breath- but if you're feeling down, begin acknowledging how much you truly have... it will change everything.

So this week, realize that you have the choice to be happy- no matter how bad things seem- and DO IT! You'll be glad you did...

ACTION ITEM: For the next week... when you get up in the morning, make the choice that today will be a great day, and that you'll be happy... No matter what!

You'll be amazed at how it changes EVERYTHING, because "We don't see the world how IT is, we see the world how WE are..."

Enjoy!

~Derick Van Ness

Where Does Happiness Come From?

Happiness... it means a lot of things to a lot of people.

To some it's having a good job. To others, going on a date with that special someone... But where does happiness really come from?

I have given this a lot of thought during the many years of my life, and what I have come to discover is that happiness comes from a completely different place than I originally thought.

I think back through my childhood in good ole Sandy, Utah when happiness meant buying an ice cream cone at the gas station or riding my bike to go play Super Mario Brothers at the local grocery store.

Then as I grew, happiness meant having money to buy new cassette tapes, or going out on a date with the latest girl that made my tummy do somersaults. On other days it was watching sports with my Dad, or camping in the mountains and fishing some little beaver ponds...

Bottom line is that "Happiness" seemed to come from a lot of places. I didn't really give it much thought until my life stopped being so 'busy', and I had (way too much) time to really consider where happiness came from.

Truth be told, I was forced to figure it out because there came a point after college where I wasn't so happy. I'd moved away from College to 'Live the California Dream' in the SF Bay area during the .COM explosion. But instead of turning out like I had envisioned (Picture me living by the beach with my Mercedes, and owning a cutting edge .COM company) I found myself in a strange new place, with no friends, an old pickup truck, and no idea what I wanted to do with my life.

It was then that I began to learn where happiness truly comes from...

I found that all I really had was 'ME', and if I was going to be 'Happy' then it had to come from somewhere inside. Now that might sound a little idealistic, or like a bunch of 'Hair Brained Non-Sense'; but I've found it to be true over and over during the course of my life.

Simply put, Happiness is a choice.

Each day we wake up and decide if we are going to be grateful for all of the incredible things that we DO have in our lives-- or we can be 'Grouchy Smurf' and look at how terrible things are, or focus on what we WISH we had in our lives.

Let me give you an example: Almost every one of us wishes that we had more money, right? Even the super-duper wealthy guy (you know the one), wishes he had more money. And nearly everyone has at least one person who loves them dearly-- it could be your Mom, Dad, Children, Spouse, etc. And most of us spend time being healthy for portions of our lives but also suffer some sort of major health issue along the journey, right?

The point to all of this is essentially that we are all in the same boat. We all have dreams, we all have fears, we all wish we were more like 'Joe Blow' or 'Jane Doe'. We are all the same... we just vary in degree.

So why are some people so happy and others feel that happiness is only something that happens in movies and fairy tales?

It's the choice you make inside...

Are you acknowleding the amazing life that you are able to live? Or are you focusing on all of the things that you (falsely) believe you need in order to be happy?

In the end, it's all up to you. Think about it and make your choice... It will make all the difference in how you see the world-- and the best part is that you control it-- 100%!

~ Derick Van Ness

Are You Really Playing "Win - Win"?

I was thinking about this topic the other day as a friend of mine conveyed to me her disappoinment in the outcome of her dating situation. She was confiding in me that she was trying to play 'win - win' in order to have a happier, healthier relationship. She had the best of intentions, but things weren't turning out as she had hoped...

As we talked further it came as a shock to her that she was playing 'win - lose' in her relationship-- Correction, she was playing 'LOSE - win'. That means that she was letting the other person in her relationship get the 'win' but she was 'losing'.

Guess how that's working out?

I use this as an example because I see it all of the time-- in fact, I see it as one of the most common forms of delusion practiced in our highly delusional society.

Most of us are programed to see life a certain way. And although we hate to think of ourselves as these little 'robots' that run around predictably doing the same things over and over-- many of us are very close to that sort of consistancy... even if we are only consistent at being inconsistent.

For example, do you ever wonder how your significant other or best friend can finish your sentences? Or have you ever listened to yourself being interviewed? My experience has been that many of the answers, stories, or even jokes that come to mind are the same time after time. I kinda makes you wonder, right?

Well, that's a topic for another time, and what does picturing ourselves as little robots from some crazy Jetson's cartoon have to do with 'Win - Win'?

Well, I guess I'd better answer that before I've created a mutiny in only my 2nd blog...

So here it is... Playing 'Win - Win' and our perception of what that means, are already programmed into our smart little brains. This means that if you've thought you were playing 'Win - Win' but you've really been playing 'Lose - Win' or (the ever poplular version) 'Win - Lose' then you are doomed to repeat this process.

...Either that or you'll change once you've lost your self esteem, money, friendships, or anything else painful enough to make you re-evaluate your current state of 'playing with others'.

So how do you do this self examination? No, you don't need a microscope or one of those 'heart things' that your Dr. has around his neck...

You simply have to make a decision to stop running on auto pilot, and actually take the wheel of your drive through life. This means THINKING before you answer or act. This lost art of 'Thinkin' involves asking yourself- is this truly a 'Win' for me? Is this truly what the other person wants or what is best for them too? If the answer is 'No', then ask 'How can we make this the best of both worlds?'

I'll admit that this isn't easy, but it's much better than playing the victim the rest of your life. It's also reinforces the idea that YOUR feelings and needs are important too!

Yes, you heard me right. You matter! So keep that in mind, and stop fooling yourself into believing that giving others what THEY want- at YOUR expense- is a good thing.

It's NOT... because eventually you can't 'Give' any more, you can't even help yourself, and you've created people who are not pulling their own weight...

Think about it, be honest with yourself, and take the wheel!

~ Derick Van Ness